


Don't Go Far Off

by silvereastsea (MirthBabyx)



Series: Neruda Inspired Fics [2]
Category: Thai Actor RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25147765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirthBabyx/pseuds/silvereastsea
Summary: Off wonders when, then why, then decides to act.
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Series: Neruda Inspired Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821751
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	Don't Go Far Off

**Author's Note:**

> It's a drabble I made when I was feeling down and was edited with a bottle full on wine in my bloodstream so...
> 
> Enjoy!

Off is not so sure when he started accepting his Nong's touch. He tolerated them, sure, but now he  _ accepts  _ it. Opens himself up to it.

It's not that he hated being touched, but Gun Atthaphan was just so  _ touchy _ . 

It's after their Global Live Fanmeet, and he just wants nothing else but to collapse on his bed after such a tiring day. He's never been a born dancer, and he has never caught on to steps as fast as his coworker, so the weeks-long preparation coupled with his shootings for his upcoming series has made him tired. So tired. 

He comes home pretty early, at around 9pm after a celebratory dinner with the GMM staff. Sadly, without Gun present. Gun only has one individual series this year, yet he feels like he doesn't see the younger one as often anymore. 

It's not the first time he feels like he's only half, half of OffGun, but Off assumes it's because those times were because of work. This time, surrounded by familiar faces of people he worked with at a casual dinner, he missed having a certain shoulder to put his arms on.

He showers, quick, changes into new clothes and promptly passes out onto his comfortable bed.

—

Bzz. Bzz. Bzz.

_ Alai? _

Off wakes up from his slumber. He pats around to check his phone for the time.

3:21 am.

Who the hell is in his door at 3 am?

He pads around his house, bare feet, not bothering to even wear his slippers. He checks his door's peephole.

_ Ah _ . 

He opens his door, only to see Gun's sleepy yet smiley face. "Gun, what're you doing? It's late." 

"Hi, Papi," Gun pushes his way in, not even bothering to be invited in, "I brought food."

Off does nothing but watch, seeing the younger place his things on his table and situate himself comfortably on his green couch. 

"So, I have some ice cream here, unsweetened of course, and a slice of cake from  _ Babiis _ ." Gun says, laying out the contents of his Chanel bag.

"Don't you have shooting tomorrow?" Off asks.

"And I bought your favorite coffee for the morning, and some extras for your co-stars," Gun ignores him, holding boxes of the Korean coffee he likes. "Oh, oh! And I forgot to tell you, I bought a new watch, Papi."

"Gun, slow down," Off chuckles. He sits beside his nong, "It's 3 am. Shouldn't you be sleeping? You had a pretty long day."

The younger one sighs, hugs him like the koala he is with or without cameras. Off will forever deny that he hugged back, and that he shifted closer, but like magnets they end up being close on the couch anyway. (He refuses to refer to it as cuddling.)

"I know. I'm tired, Papi," Gun's head is placed on the crook of Off's neck, where it feels just right, "But we didn't get to celebrate our fanmeet! Or even  _ talk _ ! We both have schedules tomorrow, too."

Off pats Gun's arms, (not) cooing, "It's okay, Gun  _ ja _ . There are still other days."

"Hmm." Gun hums. Off can feel it, can feel Gun's minuscule movement and breathing, he's that close. 

The younger one is pouting. Cute.

"Look, it's too late to eat ice cream and cake, okay? I'll put them in the fridge. Why don't you stay over and sleep?" He offers, but the minute it comes out of his mouth he regrets it. It feels… weird. He doesn't know why he said that. They've done sleepovers before, but this one feels...  _ intimate _ .

"Really? Gun can?" Gun says, switching to third person. 

_ Oh.  _

Oh, crap. He knows why.

—

After a quick shower and a change of clothes later, Gun is standing right beside the left-hand side of the bed, wearing Off's boxer and shirt. Come to think of it, Off thinks it's weird that they have sides of the bed. He's never really been attached to the right side of the bed, but throughout working with Gun through both OffGun Fun Night and the numerous times they'd shared a room during overseas fanmeets, they developed this weird pre-determined sleeping arrangement.

He's sleepy now, eyes bleary, he can feel the dip on the side of the bed where Gun is making himself feel comfortable. He feels the younger snake his arms around him, rearranges himself to be the little spoon. 

"Good night, P'Off."

—

He wakes up alone.

His alarm blares, just the way he likes it, but this time it annoys him.

8 am.

He does his morning routine, freshens up, and goes out of his room to see a small post-it on his fridge. 

"Good morning, Papi. :) I went out already. I have filming. I also took the cake since I know you're dieting, but the ice cream is still there. Love u!"

Off smiles.

—

He doesn't see Gun until two days later, both on set on their new sitcom. 

Somehow, Off feels right. 

—

It's hard to say for certain, but he feels like Gun's been ignoring him.

He's still there, of course. They've had three straight days of working, but he feels... distant. Aloof. He still talks to Off normally, but without his usual antics. Off can't quite put a finger on it.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tay asks, "You spaced out for a sec."

"Hey, Tay, do you feel something weird lately?"

"What do you mean? Everything's been pretty fine."

"About... you know," Off moves his eyes to the right, knowing where Gun is, trusting Tay to get it, "It's been weird."

"Well, come to think of it... " Tay trails off, the dramatic man that he is, "Why aren't you glued to each other?"

Ah. 

—

Tay seems to have opened the gates. To what? Off doesn't know. 

But now he's hyper-aware. When once he was hyper-aware of every place Gun touched him, now he was hyper-aware of every place Gun  _ didn't _ .

Gun didn't seem any different, but he's been touching Off less. He didn't hug him or give him his usual neck kiss when he saw him in the morning. Off's been off-kilter the whole day, and he mentally gives himself a smack on the head for only noticing now. 

He remembers now. Off has heard "P'Off" from him once or twice.  _ P'Off _ . Not Papi.

Off blinks. Is Gun trying to send a message? Or is he overthinking? 

—

Off knows Gun likes him, the younger having told him in one warm Korean night. Off has said he likes him back too. 

They both mutually agreed to stay friends, or whatever their relationship was, since that's what they know best. 

_ I don’t want to take a risk and ruin our jobs, Gun. _

Since then, it's been a weird blur of friends-not-friends, or as P'Godji calls it,  _ the honeymoon phase _ .

Off is contented. He'd like to stay this way. He once got asked their status, and he said, “What we do will give you the answer.” And he was honest. He meant that.

—

Gun is off to Hua Hin with his friends. He doesn't get a proper text back, only a green heart in return.

—

10 days pass. No one notices any difference. But to Off, it's clear as day: Gun has put a glass wall between them. Whenever they're together, he hangs out more with Tay. Off has never been bothered by Tay's closeness with Gun before, and he knows he shouldn't, but it doesn't stop him from getting jealous anyway.

He's holding a white bunny plushie, a prop from the set, not noticing he's almost squeezing the life out of it. 

"Hey, papi! Be careful." Gun scoops it out of his hands, fixes the bunny's rumpled appearance, and puts it back in Off's arms. "Hold still."

Gun takes a picture of the bunny, cradled in Off's arm. 

Off shifts his gaze to Tay, confused. What's happening? Tay, dumbfounded as he was, only shrugs.

" _ Nalak _ , papi." Gun says, proceeds to kiss Off's cheek, then takes off on a run as he's called for the next take.

What is happening?

—

Off is secretly thankful Gun ran. His ears are red.

—

Off swears he'll ask Gun about it. He hasn't.

Off doesn't think it's the right time to ask about it given certain issues that arose. It doesn't feel right in between "Susu na"s and "Let's eat your favorite ice cream."

At least they still spent some time together.

  
  


—

Five days later, and Gun is in a hotel spending time with friends. Off tries not to look like a lovesick fool waiting for Instagram notifications.

—

Off wakes up early to go to the temple for Merit Making. He'll see Gun today, and resolves to ask him out for lunch to talk. He can't handle this anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> "Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --  
> because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long  
> and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station  
> when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
> 
> Don't leave me, even for an hour, because  
> then the little drops of anguish will all run together,  
> the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift  
> into me, choking my lost heart.
> 
> Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;  
> may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.  
> Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,
> 
> because in that moment you'll have gone so far  
> I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,  
> Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?"
> 
> \- Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XLV


End file.
